I am the egg man. They are the egg men. I am the walrus.
(I Am the Walrus, Lennon-McCartney, 1967)
On Super Bowl Sunday, this seemed the perfect time to reminisce about my year as steward of arguably the ultimate enigma of the Old School community. A one-of-a-kind card that is strangely “un-coveted” by a playerbase known for their love of swag, uniqueness and pimp.
I am of course referring to the Dingardi Trophy – the Dingus Egg.
How the Egg was won
Like many Old School players, my competitive fires burn bright, and certainly beyond just Old School gaming. For those that know me well, you’ll know I am an obsessive of, amongst other things, many professional sports – primarily football (association football), baseball, cricket, but basically anything.
One manifestation of this obsession is in sports gaming. In the past I played the Championship Manager/Football Manager franchise developed by Sports Interactive to pretty irresponsible levels of addiction (I literally stopped playing for good in 2006 to avoid sabotaging my university degree) and today I still enjoy a sports management sim whenever I get the chance.
My participation in fantasy sports should therefore come as little surprise. So when I was offered the chance to compete in a private Fantasy NFL League, comprising members of the Old School elite, I naturally snatched at the chance to participate in an American pastime I have long been fascinated with.
It started well, with my team Gland Warrior Token securing 1st overall pick in the draft. Some research led to me selecting highly-rated Saquon Barkley from the New York Giants as first pick, and I built a team from there. But that was about as good as it got, and things went quickly downhill. Some poor matchups and a 4-week injury to Barkley saw my team hit the bottom of the standings and languish there for the remainder of the season. Before long immortality beckoned as the first owner of the Egg, the ultimate wooden spoon.
The Egg came with a punishing stipulation – I was to run the Egg in any Old School event involving another competitor from the Fantasy League – and as it turns out, those boys play in a lot of events…
And yes, as the eagle-eyed amongst you will have noticed, the Egg is from Unlimited, making it Swedish legal! So no excuses.
Embracing one’s inner Dingus
I received the Egg inside a Christmas card posted Stateside, all the way from the US of A. Fittingly the Christmas card arrived on 6th Jan 2020 – which I guess makes it my first Christmas card of 2020, just 353 days early…
In truth, at first I was pretty frustrated – a little embarrassed at my poor performance in the Fantasy League, and annoyed that my chances for success in 2020’s events would be hampered by needing to run a chaff card in my 75. But soon enough the cloud was lifted and I learned to love the Egg.
Friends from the League actively sought out my deck pics to see the Egg in action. People would innocently ask me why I was running Dingus Egg in my lists, perhaps assuming it was some super-secret tech (it isn’t!).
Moreover I came to realise that whilst important, the 15th sideboard slot (or 60th card maindeck slot, perhaps?) is not usually that important to success in tournaments – but there is still some challenge here – can one put up results whilst handicapped by the power of the Dingus Egg?
1 Egg brings 2 more
My first attempt with the Egg was a solid top 8 performance in the Chalice main event, my last international event in the times before Covid.
I would share the deck photo for this – but it was so hastily taken that the glare was awful, and it’s borderline illegible. So much so, that I managed to win another booby-prize Egg, for taking the Worst Deck Photo!
Like anyone these days, I am vain enough to Google myself on a regular basis. So recently I noticed (to my amusement) that my top 8 result from the excellent Raging Bull Online event in June is proudly recorded on TC Decks – meaning that one of my top hits online now shows: “Sideboard – 1 Dingus Egg”. Always keep them guessing…
I’ll take this moment to say hello to our friends in the Dutch community, who do just the most amazing work. One day some vaccinated Brothers will travel to the Netherlands for those beers, I dearly hope!
Wasn’t Dingus Egg restricted?
Now as everyone knows, some of the most successful Old School decks depend upon drawing a surprising amount of restricted cards.
This is a sound logic. And got me thinking – Dingus Egg was once restricted. In fact, it was so broken that it was one of the first cards restricted by the DCI in their inaugural announcement, alongside heavy-hitters Ancestral Recall, Icy Manipulator, and er, Orcish Oriflamme…
I guess they must have been worried about the power combo of Dingus Egg and Armageddon?
So how can we unlock the busted power of the Egg today?
Without 4 Strip Mines, I think this is a pretty decent effort; a WUb list rocking 2 Eggs in the main. Embracing the Egg.
Incredibly, this list got all the way to the finals of Florian’s first Lockdown Tournament – before losing to Jordan’s UR Counterburn, in the greatest Brother vs Brother match-up since the Undertaker fought Kane at WrestleMania 14!
This goes to show – build something unexpected and you can catch people out. And perhaps Dingus Egg is the tech against Mishra’s Factory we’ve all been missing (it really isn’t…)
A new year, a new owner
Like all good things, my time with the Egg has now come to an end.
The Dingardi Trophy now has a new owner. I am sure it will treat them very well.